i seem perfectly content to continue having my butterfly wings ripped off by the boy.

hung out the other night after his show. his friend rob asked questions about us. we had different answers, like had we dated? i said not really, he said yes.

i heard him and two other guys talking when they thought i was out of earshot. they told him that i was giving off signals that he wasn't picking up. he told them i'm just a great friend.

he knows how i feel. for god's sake, i told him that i love him. yet he doesn't care. i think he understands that i care about him and may even appreciate it and enjoy being loved, but the fact that he can't or won't reciprocate those feelings--kills me.

i want him to see me.

this story is old.

i have no money. i have no life. my job is wearing on me. i'm having trouble finding reasons to wake up in the morning.