paddling, what i wouldn't give for a nice long day paddling

it's been so long since i've spent a quiet day at home with myself, reading porn, watching porn, eating chocolate and getting off. today was a good day.

i forgot what it was to just concentrate on my pleasure instead of my pain. i can be responsible for my own pleasure, and don't really need pie to do it for me. now granted the guy has a magnificent dick and is fairly good at using it, but he never really finished anything. (himself or me)

so much freedom underwater 

lee, the man i can usually count on to be where he should be 

pie has no idea how powerful purple really is.

the newest member of the "band" is supposed to have arrived today. brooklyn, i believe is his name. so, now the whole band is together and should be up and practicing sometime soon. the power of purple. that's the name that pie wants to use for the band. it makes me think of early prince, but, really, who am i to say a thing.

we've all had transition people. my only hope is that at some point he will remember that i was good to him and will think of me kindly as a good friend that he wants to keep in his life.

i could cry feverishly over him, but it would do no good.
i could beg him to see me, but he's blind.
i could offer my body and his lips to his whims
i could, but i'd much rather die.


he's tried to fill me, but i'm still wanting more
he's tried to push me, but i've already fallen
he's tried to kill me, but i'm dead to him now
he's tried all but kindness and love, now i'm gone.