not an upward spiral or a downward. is it possible to have a lateral spiral? just mild loops of good and bad, confusion and clarity, content with life and desire for death.

egan is a little upset with me. seems she and dave just can't play nice and now i'm in the middle. ah, the middle. normally i would jump at the opportunity to be in the middle of a threesome, but this one is just trouble. they work together and can get along great there, but outside of the office-- yikes. tension and accusations and misinterpretations abound.

its a shame too, because i have an amazing time with both both of them, but for some reason they each have this infinitly thick barrier of defense around them. a single word is an attack on the other.

was it my idea to be so strong,
to set my jaw so straight i can't move it anymore?
how did i chose to hold yours up
when mine was droped and lost so long ago?