wanting passion and love and trust, is clearly too much to want.

so, pie and i spent time together. we had a good time. then suddenly it ended and i don't really know why.

i know there are still some big time hurt feelings for him regarding his ex and that he needs some sort of resolution. i think that he is stuck in the same position i am. neither one of us is able to get through to the other person what the reality is in our heads.

so he's been depressed and somber. his parents are planning an intervention for him. he needs it. but i still hate it for him.

josh is a doll as always, just no attraction there for me.

dad's job is still on the line. don't know where that is going to go, but early retirement is looking like a huge option.

i miss portia, the fun we always had together. she would skip studying with me and go out and play. everyone here just wants to study and since i'm not in school anymore, it makes it tough.

i miss being loved. i'm nearly 29 now. birthday tomorrow. and although my life seems to be going in a direction, there's something missing. it's the intimacy that you share with another person. friend or lover. i miss it and i want it and i can't believe that it's too much to ask.